Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Californication - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Now that some of the hatred has healed up, a little bit, I feel that I can give a review of this "piece of shit". That's actually my exact quotes, but I hope that doesn't ruin the review already for you. I can't stand these guys, especially Keidas. Just look up what he did to a band called Mr. Bungle, trust me, you will lose all respect for him. If that doesn't help you to dislike that cunt, then look up him sueing the show Californication because of the name. Well here's the review....
  1. Across the World: After about 50 listens, to try to mend the hate, this song isn't as bad as it was. The beginning instrumentation is pretty cool, until it goes into the guitar "riff"? Does that make sense. I don't hate this song as much as I used to, but I don't love it. It is probably the best song on the album. But this song isn't really grab my attention after the first chorus.
  2. Parallel Universe: This beginning of this song isn't that bad. But with cock suckers voice it harms the song. This song isn't terrible, it just doesn't impress me. I feel like they aren't good. Here, in the words of Nick Carraway, John "Your worth the whole damn bunch of them"
  3. Scar Tissue: This song isn't kind of poorly executed. It's just I don't really think they are good at all. They can't grab my attention. The only reason I am listening to this is to say that I've heard a whole album and so I can review this album. This song is a hit, but it's more of a miss for me.
  4. Otherside: This song isn't terrible. Assholeny really hurts the songs on this for me. His voice sounds like me, but if I had a seizure. He mentions slitting his throat, is this a true story, if so, why wasn't it effective.
  5. Get on Top: This song isn't very good. I don't thing that the song is put together well. They could have made this into a good song, but this is obviously a filler.
  6. Californication: This song is another song that is decent, it's just that the band sucks and can't preform good. They killed this song, and you could never fix that.
  7. Easily: This is easily a song where he sounds drunk. FUCK THIS IS A 4 MINUTE SONG! This song isn't very good because it is too repetitive and it didn't grab my attention the first time through. I do kind of like the solo though. I feel like it fits, and I think its cool how there are like three solos going on at once. 
  8. Porcelain: This is why they can't leave funk metal. Period, so they should break up.
  9. Emit Remmus: Just listen to this one. I suggest you bring a noose, in case you know... you want to keep your dignity.
  10. I Like Dirt: You would mother fucker. This song sounds like an outtake from Blood Sugar Sex Magik. And yes, I am decent'y knowledgeable on these fucks. I wouldn't talk down about them if I hadn't heard a bunch of songs on each album, and know information about them. I'm no genius but I am more knowledgeable than anyone I'm aware of that goes to my school
  11. This Velvet Glove: I wonder what this is about. This almost sounds like the acoustic guitar in the background was a sample from Crazy On You off the 1976 debut album Dreamboat Annie by Heart. I feel like he does this to himself.
  12. Savior: He I didn't know it was Christmas. I wonder if Santa brought Assholeny a new voice. Nope. The ending is kind of ok. It reminds me of western.
  13. Purple Stain: Purple Shit Stain? This seriously sounds like a revamped version of Around The World but with different tempo and lyrics.
  14. Right On Time: For some reason this sounds like it could have been a different version of Californication. Like the title track. I might be crazy but that what it reminds me of. Terrible bass solo.
  15. Road Trippin': This song is decent. But his voice isn't one to sing. I don't think that he should sing. He doesn't put his heart into his terrible voice. I like that Lil B can't sing, but he doesn't give two shits and doesn't care. I began to tear up at I Love You off the 2 hour long God's Father mixtape, I'm in the middle of reviewing it. (I want to do a good job #because it's at least a 9). This song could have been so much better with out his Keidass's voice.
Overall I'm a dick. I can't take these guys seriously. But These guys are jerks, minus John. They just want more money and don't deserve a spot in the Rock N' Roll Hall Of Fame. They have used the same formula for song writing, except for I'm With You, from what I understand, for the last year or two short of 30 years. That's not good. The sad thing is that that formula isn't a very good one. There is no reason for them to still be around. They are the only funk metal band that I am aware of at the moment still together, and the only funk metal band still performing, including new bands. I haven't ever heard a funk metal band that formed in the 2000's. They do leave the funk shit a little on this one, but they sitll have that funk presence because of FleaFucksHimself there on bass. This mother fucker gets a 4/10. I didn't like it, I couldn't really pay attention, and I won't probably ever return to this piece of poop. Remember, this is my review, and my voicing of my views. MY VIEWS, NOT YOURS. so don't complain if you see this and you don't agree. Just state why you disagree and I'll consider it. Ok here I might gain respect for them if Keidas and Flea fuck eachother, get AIDS and die a horible death. Then they get replaced, and the bass player doesn't play like Flea and the sing doesn't sing like Assholeny.

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